You are 7 months old this month and I have lots of writing to do to catch up. As I held you in my arms tonight before I laid you down to sleep I couldn't help but think of how much you have changed my life. You have made me the happiest mom ever. I can't believe how fast you are growing and how fast the time is going by. You now have almost 3 teeth that have come in, one for sure, a top tooth! Everyone thinks that it is funny and especially your dad, who likes to call you "snaggle tooth". Tonight I got a message on my computer from your birth mom on my myspace. It takes me back to 8 months ago when I was wondering who your birth mom was.
After we found out you were out there somewhere, all we could think about was how to find you. I remember two days went by after hearing from Shay and wondering what I could do to get to you. I remember feeling completely panicked that I couldn't let you go. So on the second night I called my friend Sara (who ended up being your nurse when you were born) and asking her if she knew about you. Immediately she got as excited as I did and paged your birth mom's doctor to find out. It seemed like eternity but we got a call minutes later that night from Sara again telling us she had talked to the doctor and it was true, you were out there! The more we thought about you, the more we knew you were ours. It seems funny to think that now, and even kind of foolish, but we really felt it. Sara told us that the doctor did have a patient (your birth mom) who was going to give her baby up for adoption. She said you were a girl. Now for us that was especially exciting, since everyone in our family had boys. Sara told us she gave the doctor our contact information and told her we had been wanting a baby for a long time. After our conversation I expected the doctor to get in touch with us...which she never did. But we kept fighting!
A few more days went by and nothing... not a word. I knew you were still out there and I was still fighting for you. I went home from work with a letter I had typed up to give to the doctor. I had planned to drop it off at her office along with our profile book we had made days earlier. I did it. I got the stuff together and dropped it off at the office with the receptionist. That book held the key to you. That book was precious to me... it meant me getting you. I meant your birth mom looking at it and realizing you were growing inside of her for us.
I so wanted to meet your birth mom and more importantly see her belly to know you were there and growing! The crazy thing is, in a few short weeks I would.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
the call...
I remember the evening I was home making spaghetti for dinner and I got the call. The call that would change my life. The Call!
Shay (my boss and friend Kim's daughter) was calling to tell us about a potential adoption situation. All she knew was that there was an 18 year old girl who was pregnant with a baby girl and already had a baby and was going to place her baby up for adoption. I remember the pot of water with spaghetti noodles in it overflowing as I tried to stay calm and told Shay "please give them (whoever them was) my information. I am very, VERY interested." I got off the phone looked at Andrew and we freaked out. Only 2 1/2 months earlier we had decided to pursue adoption.... and we were planning on a long road. We had met with people who adopted and heard horror stories and never could have imagined it would come easy. We had spent about 3 years trying to have a baby, and loosing 3 and now could this possibly be? Could this be our baby? For some strange reason it felt like it was. We didn't know how this worked, we were scared and cautiously hopeful!!! "Causiously hopeful... a phrase that a doctor once told me about the baby growing in my belly"... but this hopeful was a hopeful that felt good... Immediately I called my mom, which I pretty much do when I find out anything... even though I didn't really know anything I new enough! I new that there was a baby out there that I wanted, that I dreamed of, that I cried for and prayed every night I would get! I new that the baby girl that was growing in someones belly was growing for me, that she would be mine and in some funny way I really believed it. I really believed that this was going to be my daughter... little did I know that I was really right. My baby was growing and in 6 short weeks I would cut her cord and watch her take her first breath and hold her in my arms.... this was a call I'll never forget!
Shay (my boss and friend Kim's daughter) was calling to tell us about a potential adoption situation. All she knew was that there was an 18 year old girl who was pregnant with a baby girl and already had a baby and was going to place her baby up for adoption. I remember the pot of water with spaghetti noodles in it overflowing as I tried to stay calm and told Shay "please give them (whoever them was) my information. I am very, VERY interested." I got off the phone looked at Andrew and we freaked out. Only 2 1/2 months earlier we had decided to pursue adoption.... and we were planning on a long road. We had met with people who adopted and heard horror stories and never could have imagined it would come easy. We had spent about 3 years trying to have a baby, and loosing 3 and now could this possibly be? Could this be our baby? For some strange reason it felt like it was. We didn't know how this worked, we were scared and cautiously hopeful!!! "Causiously hopeful... a phrase that a doctor once told me about the baby growing in my belly"... but this hopeful was a hopeful that felt good... Immediately I called my mom, which I pretty much do when I find out anything... even though I didn't really know anything I new enough! I new that there was a baby out there that I wanted, that I dreamed of, that I cried for and prayed every night I would get! I new that the baby girl that was growing in someones belly was growing for me, that she would be mine and in some funny way I really believed it. I really believed that this was going to be my daughter... little did I know that I was really right. My baby was growing and in 6 short weeks I would cut her cord and watch her take her first breath and hold her in my arms.... this was a call I'll never forget!
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